You are scared of belonging, and you don’t know how.

You are so afraid to belong, to feel part of a group. To be so happy.

You are afraid of how it would make you feel, of how vulnerable you would have to make yourself. You remind yourself of the risks of rejection, of how it feels knowing what it was like to belong, but losing that feeling. You are afraid of the hurt belonging could cause you. You are scared of belonging, and you don’t know how.

But you also feel afraid of the pain of being on the outside looking in. You couldn’t bear to put yourself through the hurt and frustration that being on the outskirts of a group of friends would bring you. You are scared of belonging, and you don’t know how.

So instead, you sit here, half way between the two. Slowly torturing yourself on the barbed fence that separates the vulnerability of a group from the protection of being alone. You are scared of belonging, and you don’t know how.

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