Today I handed in my graded unit.
It was a horrible process printing it off. I spent a lot of money and kept printing the wrong pages in colour and black and while.
I had to keep going back to the librarian to top up my account and for help with the printer because it was not printing properly.
I felt awful using up so much unnecessary paper and money.
It was quite humiliating and stressful, I was shaking and hating the whole experience.
But I did it.
I got through it, I printed everything off and put it all in order and signed the cover letters and make it very neat and presentable before I went to the staff room and found my tutor to hand it in.
I did what I had to to get through it.
I felt numb for a while after, not quite realising that all the stress and depression was over now, that I could finally relax and focus on myself and more enjoyable activities.
But slowly, slowly it is starting to sink in. I can write, I can knit, I no longer have to think about presentation standards and content quality.
I don’t have to think. I don’t have to focus.
The relief is just starting to fill my head, the freedom just starting to enter my heart. Do what you have to to get through it, and I promise there are better times ahead.
Show yourself some love, you deserve it.