I can’t just take the fucking nail out!
The nail is my university application, my graded unit, two reports, a career. The nail is my personal life, an ex and best friend I lost, a life I lost through my own doings. The fucking nail is a lifetime of self-hatred and exclusion. The nail is the stress and anxiety of everything I hear beating me down instead of raising me up. The fucking nail is embedded and I can’t “just take it out”. It’s a past full of low self-esteem and self-confidence. It’s a long and hard day with a lack of support and self blame. It’s a life I lost and never even said goodbye to. It’s a life no one else understands and I can’t get back or revisit. It’s the sadness of a lifetime of nostalgia for something I never even saw.
The nail cannot simply be removed, it’s a disaster waiting to happen and it’s in my head, slowly clawing at my happiness.